Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Lessons in Parenthood - 5: Routines
Just when you think you've established a routine....everything changes.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The Arsenic Hour
Abigail enjoying the baby play mat at Cynthia's house
Cynthia's baby Maddy (top) and Abi (bottom) get to know each other.Why is it that when you visit friends, your little bundle of joy puts on her best behaviour? She sleeps, coos and smiles non-stop and everyone remarks how lucky you are to have such a good baby. A prime example: the coffee afternoon I went to at Cynthia's house this week. Come round at 5 o'clock, I tell them. It's a different story then! At 5 o'clock - and you can pretty much set your watch by it - our delightful child turns into a screaming monster: red-faced, writhing and inconsolable.
Only swaddling, holding, rocking and sucking (whether bottle or boob, she's not fussed) can prevent a total meltdown. But of course the minute the dummy is quite literally spat out, off she goes again. It carries on this way until around 9 o'clock, or later if it's a particularly bad night, until she finally goes to sleep (presumably through exhaustion).
Why do babies do this? Some call it colic. Some call it the witching hour. The best description I saw was "the arsenic hour" on an Australian breastfeeding site. We call it the evening grizzlies. Whatever you call it, it's quite common and apparently peaks in week 6 and tails off by 3 months (or not, as my brother helpfully told me). Either way, 3 months seems like an eternity away when your day is measured out in 2-hour slots of feeding, changing and sleeping - or not, as the case may be!
What is clear, however, is that you do get through it - at least judging by how our friends recall their experience through misty eyes. Says Harriet, on the subject of crying: "Ah. They are teaching you how to look after them. They are teaching you important life lessons which they hope you will learn deeply and quickly which is why they cry so loudly and for such a long time. These things include how to be patient, how to look after them although you'd rather actually leave the room, how to eat your dinner standing up and with one implement, how to listen to what you and them are thinking even when you can't hear your partner above the din and how to soothe them. Happy days are nappy days."
To which I can only assume Harriet has long forgotten the days when Connie screamed until she was purple in the face, including one legendary shopping trip to BHS where the decibel count nearly shook the mannequins off their stands and had the shop assistant on speed dial to social services.
Only swaddling, holding, rocking and sucking (whether bottle or boob, she's not fussed) can prevent a total meltdown. But of course the minute the dummy is quite literally spat out, off she goes again. It carries on this way until around 9 o'clock, or later if it's a particularly bad night, until she finally goes to sleep (presumably through exhaustion).
Why do babies do this? Some call it colic. Some call it the witching hour. The best description I saw was "the arsenic hour" on an Australian breastfeeding site. We call it the evening grizzlies. Whatever you call it, it's quite common and apparently peaks in week 6 and tails off by 3 months (or not, as my brother helpfully told me). Either way, 3 months seems like an eternity away when your day is measured out in 2-hour slots of feeding, changing and sleeping - or not, as the case may be!
What is clear, however, is that you do get through it - at least judging by how our friends recall their experience through misty eyes. Says Harriet, on the subject of crying: "Ah. They are teaching you how to look after them. They are teaching you important life lessons which they hope you will learn deeply and quickly which is why they cry so loudly and for such a long time. These things include how to be patient, how to look after them although you'd rather actually leave the room, how to eat your dinner standing up and with one implement, how to listen to what you and them are thinking even when you can't hear your partner above the din and how to soothe them. Happy days are nappy days."
To which I can only assume Harriet has long forgotten the days when Connie screamed until she was purple in the face, including one legendary shopping trip to BHS where the decibel count nearly shook the mannequins off their stands and had the shop assistant on speed dial to social services.
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