Bump Watch: Week 24

Week 24 and two things are obvious. First: oh my god, I'm suddenly enormous! And second: I've got Wayne Rooney in my belly. Well, no offence Wayne - I hope our child will be a bit more blessed in the looks department - but when it comes to kicking, little Pob is right up there. The first kicks, which I felt around week 20, were not very obvious. More like flutters in the stomach, they could have easily passed for indigestion. These days however, there's no doubt that the quivers in my belly are well timed punches and kicks.

The kicking usually starts after a good meal or when I'm resting. However as the baby's senses are developing and its little ears are now picking up sounds, there can be other causes, as my very naughty husband found out the other day. We had an electrician round to help sort out some dodgy plugs and extend the internet wiring to our computer's new home. As Dom pulled the computer cabinet out from the wall, he suddenly exclaimed "Look! There's a cockroach!" With that, a small dark shape shot across the floor and I leapt about three feet into the air, screaming like a banshee.

And after all that, the "roach" was not a roach at all, but an almond which my lovely husband had kicked in my direction. But if you think it's funny to terrorise me with dried snacks, think again! All that leaping around, screaming and the huge adrenaline rush woke Pob, who pounded my insides, stamping on my bladder for over an hour.

Apparently as the baby gets bigger it starts to run out of room to do quite so many gymnastics, and my guess is that space is already starting to get tight. The skin on my bump feels as taut as a drum skin, and as my belly button gets shallower by the day, it looks like my "innie" is soon to become an "outie". Although I look much bigger I have only put on 7 pounds so far, even though I'm always eating. And amazingly, I have no stretch marks yet. (Whether this is down to luck, genetics or Clarins stretch mark cream, who knows?) But I do find it incredible to think I've still got four months to go and I can't even begin to imagine how much bigger the bump will get!