Lessons in Parenthood - 4: Crying

As a scientist it can be hard to accept, but sometimes there is no reason and no solution - they just cry...

Lessons in Parenthood - 3: Nursing Wear

Only buy nursing tops in black or heavily patterned designs, unless you want to walk around looking like you have been shot in the nipples.

Lessons in Parenthood - 2: Baby Clothes

Buy enough newborn baby clothes to cope with a change of outfit 5 times a day, but not so many that it's money down the drain when she's outgrown them all by 3 weeks because she eats like a trucker...

Lessons in Parenthood - 1: Sleep

Sleep (n): Period of restfulness whereby the body and mind re-charges itself. A long-forgotten concept, now reduced to minutes rather than hours. See also sleep deprivation: a form of torture practiced by the military. Also effective when administered by a young infant.

Birth Story - by Jennie

We were very lucky to have a great doula - or birth companion - present during my delivery. Her name is Jennie, and here's her version of baby Abigail's birth story. If you're of a squeamish disposition, I promise Jennie's story is really lovely and there are no gory details (wait until my version of the birth story for that, LOL!)

Dear Abigail

I met with your Mummy and Daddy when they decided they wanted to have a gentle, calm and loving birth experience for you. I am a doula and was quite honoured they would allow me to be present at your birth, such an awe inspiring event! After 41 weeks of pregnancy you and your Mummy decided the time was right for you to enter the world.

At 1.15am I received a text message to say that your Mummy’s waters had released but that there were no surges yet. Mummy wanted to go back to bed and get some more rest before you started your journey. However, before long, her surges started and at 3.17am I got a call asking me to attend. At this point, the surges which were going to bring you into the world were already every 4-5 minutes apart and very powerful. Mummy felt a bit sick and shaky.

At 3.50am I call your Mummy from the taxi. She told me that she has some pressure in her bottom, she has been sick and she has been bleeding a bit. That makes me think that already the labour has progressed quite far, and I think your Mum is quite open but she is talking very well between surges and is very calm.

When I arrive at their place, I find a beautifully calm and tranquil environment. Mummy is laying on her side on the bed, in a dimly lit room. Daddy is looking after her, organising her things for the hospital and keeping the atmosphere relaxing and comfortable. I ask her if she wants to go to hospital now, or stay at home some more, but Mummy tells me that if we don’t go now, she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to make it in later!

So at 5.07am we are admitted to the hospital. Daddy immediately ensures that Mummy is feeling comfortable and safe while he gives the birth plan to the nurses and ‘guards’ the room while she settles back down. He puts the hypno-birthing CD on and Mummy lays down on her side and waits for a while before being examined.

Mummy has a long and uncomfortable examination at around 5.30am and we are informed that she is at least 8cm open. The resident Dr who did the exam wants to do another but your Mum breaks her restful silence to clearly say ‘no more exams until Biswas gets here!’. Inwardly I cheer that Mummy is so focused on having a peaceful birth and is not letting the Dr’s and nurses do anything that would alter her state of calm relaxation.

Your Mum does still feel nauseous and is hiccuping after every surge. If she wasn’t in labour, I think she would laugh at this! She lays on her side and listens to the affirmations and relaxation script on the cd. Mummy also keeps a cool flannel over her face for most of the time. This is her way of blocking out all the distractions going on around her and allows her to focus inwardly on you, her baby, and the journey the two of are undertaking.

Daddy is an excellent guardian. He makes sure the nurses know what Mummy and his wishes are and he ‘manages’ the room, ensuring everything is how it should be for a calm and peaceful entrance for you. I am really proud of him- he is so involved and active during your birth.

By 6am, Mummy is showing signs of wanting to bear down- her breathing changes and the quiet noises she makes while she has a surge indicate that you have descended. I encourage Mummy to spend a little time on the toilet, which she does, and then on the birth stool. By about 7.30, Mummy just wants to be on the bed again, so she gets back on it and lays on her side. Mummy starts moaning, just a little now.

Prof Biswas arrives at around 8.30am. I suspect that you have been waiting for him to get here before you make your grand entrance because just 25 minutes later, you are born! What a beautiful birth! Mummy breathes you down, never pushing hard, just gently easing you into the world. Biswas suggests Mummy lay on her back, and even at this late stage in labour, Mummy doesn’t lose her focus. She clearly says ‘I’ll stay on my side’ and inwardly I cheer again.

Baby Abi, you had such a great start, such a wonderful, peaceful entrance. You were put straight onto Mummy’s chest, and by 9.30am were already breastfeeding. On my way home in the taxi, the song ‘I’m walking on sunshine’ by Katrina and the Waves played on the radio and I thought that it was such a sunny, happy song that it summed up my feelings about your birth perfectly. Welcome to the world little Abigail, have a wonderful life.

With love,
Jennie Blake

We found Jennie at Parentlink:
http://www.parentlink.com.sg/

What's the damage?

Before

After

After years of being relatively perky and svelte pre-baby, followed by nine months of watching my waistline and toes gradually disappear, I couldn’t help but wonder what sort of shape I would emerge from pregnancy in. According to various books, I could look forward to a permanent thickening of my waistline, to the tune of up to two inches. Ditto, weight gain - with an additional 1-2 Kg here to stay for good.

And that’s just the thin end of the wedge. Horror stories abound of breasts like a couple of satsumas in a string bag, a stomach sagging like an old crepe suzette under the weight of a thousand stretch marks, and a lifelong subscription to Tena Lady because your pelvic floor is shot to bits. Yes, by all accounts, your body will never be the same again after pregnancy. So, after 41 weeks, 3 days, 7 hours of labour and a few sleepless nights, it was finally time for me to take stock, step on the scales, have a good hard look in the mirror and assess the collateral damage. And I have to say, some of the results were surprising!

I gained a total of 14 pounds during the pregnancy, 9 of which were instantly shed at the birth. One week later I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight (although certainly not my pre-pregnancy shape judging by the refusal of my trouser buttons!). My belly feels as spongy as a ball of dough and something seriously weird has happened to my abdominal muscles, which seem to have parted like the Red Sea at the Israelites’ exodus. On the plus side, no stretch marks though.

Sadly, hypnobirthing can only save you from some of the ravages of child birth and there’s no escaping that first-week feeling that a double-decker bus has driven through your private parts and that with every step you take all your insides might just fall out. I wasn’t counting on waking up with a couple of rock-hard “Pammies” on day 3 either. Still, it’s the sign of a good sense of humour when, after a sleepless night, your husband can look at your ridiculously swollen décolletage, laugh uncontrollably, and re-name your assets “The Zeppelins”. And to think people pay good money for boobs like this...

Introducing Abigail

Yes - it's taken a while to get round to posting some pictures. All I can say is your life goes out of the window after having a baby. It's an exhausting but magical time!

Here's the very first pictures taken at the hospital. Labour kicked off around 2am and Abigail was born at 08:56 so it was quite a short labour - and I'm pleased to say the hypnobirthing worked a treat so I didn't need any drugs.

I don't think much of the outside world!

Hello Daddy!

Our doula, Jennie.


First feed

3.22Kg on the scale

The clean up and weighing station

Proud Dad

Hello world!

It's a tough life - asleep again

Yup - I look like a woman who's had no sleep that night!

Adorable little face

Prof Biswas, our obstetrician. The picture is a funny shape

because I had to censor it as my right boob was on display!